musings of a hopefilled soul

Archive for April, 2012

The Seed of the Soul

The Gardener with great gentleness placed the seed in the ground.

Said the seed, “Why here, what reason can be found?

It’s dark and it’s cold here and I”ll be all alone.

What purpose of this could possibly be shown?”

“In the dark and the stillness of this place unknown

Comes the dying so necessary for you to grow.

When dying, then, growing and hard work is done

A rose lifts its head in the light of the sun.”

“What beauty” you say,”  “Was this really in me?

If it truly was there, why couldn’t anyone see?”

“The former of you was a plain hardened shell

It took breaking down walls,You cherished so well

To give growth to the beauty lying dormant inside

And it just couldn’t happen till the old you had died.”

 And so to the depths when no one is there

We too are placed with great love and care.

And the times become hard and the days become long,

And we cry out to God to give us a song.

When to the past we finally die

And surrender to God all the pieces inside.

He takes from the winter and tenderly grows,

In the springtime that follows , a beautiful rose.

Written February 10, 1999 after learning that letting go would allow the beauty inside to be revealed.

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God’s Love

“We should be astonished at the goodness of God, stunned that He should bother to call us by name, our mouths wide open at His love, bewildered that at this very moment we are standing on holy ground.”

Quote by Brennan Manning

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God.  this is the true self.  Every other identity is illusion.”  

  Quote by Brennan Manning

Hope Haiku

Bleak, gray clouds. Despair!

Tornadoes swirl hopelessness,

But suddenly, God!

 

My attempt at a haiku of hope for those struggling with the darkest of times.

Getting Older

A little humor for the day….enjoy!

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A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, “Please come over here and help me.  I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her neighbor asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The little silver haired lady says,”According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”

He takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax.  Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then, ” he said with a deep sigh……….

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“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”

The Counselor

I have been fortunate in my life to have supportive people who helped me at times when I felt I could not go on.  One of these people was a Christian counselor who was with me through thick and thin.  Her name is Jackie and to this day I am so thankful for her persistence and help.  She really helped me take a good honest look at myself.  She was a gift from God to me.  I wrote this poem to pay tribute to her.  It was written in 1998. Thanks again, Jackie.

As in so many times of sessions gone by,

You site before me and look in my eyes.

You challenge me to explore the anger and pain,

to pick up the pieces and try once again.

You know deep inside is a person of worth,

A talent, a gift God placed there at birth.

But as I search inward to look at my pain,

I’m angry and hurting, “What is there to gain?”

I’m sarcastic and sigh, clinch my fists and shout,

“This isn’t working could someone PLEASE help me out.

I’m unreasonable and agitated and mad as can be.

My reality is distorted and I can’t really see.

“Love yourself, accept yourself, take care of your inner child.”

Psychological “mumbo jumbo”, it makes me go wild.

I want to fix it right now so I can go on my way,

And have my life back by the end of the day.

You must look and me and think, “They don’t pay me enough,

To deal with this woman and put up with THIS stuff.”

But I pause and remember that you carry inside,

Your own set of scars that you wanted to hide.

I see in your eyes not judgment, but care,

For you remember how hard it was to be there.

I guess it’s called having credentials or more

It just lets me know you’ve been there before.

Though different dilemmas and different pain,

The”eye of the storm” affects us often the same.

I know you are touched by the losses I’ve felt,

And you think it’s a difficult hand I’ve been dealt.

When I look at your face and see the tears in your eyes,

It touches a cord of my soul deep inside.

Thank You for validating, it was really a blow.

I can now look at my feelings and then let them go.

So I tuck it away an accepted part of me.

From the past of my life, I’m finally free.

Have I said “thank you,” enough?  The answer is no,

Without you along, how would it go?

You’re an extension of God’s hand in a lonely place,

And you give of your insight in a way of such grace.

Thank you for the honesty when I didn’t want to hear.

That the biggest obstacle was right in here.

I’m exhausted when I remember the places I’ve been,

And how the most difficult journey comes from within.

But with your support and encouragement that I weekly get,

I’m positive the road to recovery is set.

Those days were very difficult and with the help of Jackie and others and most of all my heavenly Father, I have recovered.   For those struggling with a painful past, know that there is hope.  Sometimes the journey is longer than we want but it will get better.  There is no way out but to go through.  First of all  seek and accept the help of God.  Also seek godly counseling and support of friends.  You will make it!  I did and so will you!

Lynn Radke April 23, 2012

Things aren’t always what they seem

First of all, I can take no credit for the writing below.  My husband forwarded this from his work email to our home email.  I read it this morning and thought it was awesome.  Please read and enjoy! Perhaps like I, it is just the word you need today! 

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion’s guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, “Things aren’t always what they seem” The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night’s rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.. “Things aren’t always what they seem,” the older angel replied. “When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I saw there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn’t find it.” “Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren’t always what they seem.” Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don’t turn out the way you think they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until sometime later.

A Place I’d Not Planned To Be

I wrote this poem while a nurse  in a dialysis unit.  Dialysis patients struggle with a chronic illness with many restrictions.  On a personal note I was struggling to accept some difficulties in my own life.  I was able to see my spiritual situation through my patient’s physical struggles.  The poem God gave me is called: “A Place I’d not Planned to Be.”

You come to this place and you sit in this chair

And shoulder again the illness you bear.

From the young to the old no favorites it plays,

And clearly affects you for the rest of your days.

The blood blows from your body and through the machine,

Washing and cleansing and making it clean.

Once doesn’t do it but three times a week,

You return again for its health that you seek.

You listen and learn some by hearing some by error

The hazards of fluid and salt, WHAT A TERROR!

So, you chose wrong and you even knew it,

From the scales to the cramping, you know you blew it.

Some days are good and your smile is so bright,

Other days are difficult, you want to give up the fight.

And as I take a moment and look in your face,

I see a reflection of my life in your case.

The events of my life weren’t quite what I planned,

And caused me to question the design of His hand.

So daily I come to the same quiet chair

And still there my heart in moments of prayer

And just as your blood needs cleansing again,

My life needs His cleansing, I’m dependant on Him.

He pulls from my life the poisons within,

And draws off the excess that would harm me again.

And from that cleansing comes the strength to arise

And face my day and the rest of my life.

And so through your courage He speaks to me,

To accept this place where I’d not planned to be.

Lynn Radke Written in 1999

Each of us struggle with happenings in our lives for which we did not plan.  Yet God expects us to accept our place, be it triumph or struggle, and be strong in His power and might.  To courageous dialysis patients everywhere, you inspired me at a crucial juncture in my life.  Thank You for displaying such courage!