musings of a hopefilled soul

Is Who I Am, Good Enough?

“We are what we believe we are.” C.S. Lewis

I came across this quote this morning as I contemplated the new year.

Possibly, like many of you, seeing my self as” less than,” is an ongoing battle. In rereading this thought, I realized I had once again allowed myself to focus on negative self thoughts.

The meal wasn’t good enough….

My company is lacking….

I’m not fun….

My personality is wrong….

I’m not contributing anything in life….

On and on, the thoughts marched through my tortured mind.

I’m pretty much an introvert. There, I’ve said it…..but an explanation must follow.  It’s not that I don’t like friends and interactions with others, or that I always want to be alone.  It’s just that too much contact with others drains me.  I find small talk exhausting and need more downtime than most people.  Extroverts receive energy from their interactions with others.  But God did not create me to be an extrovert so I must be ok the way I am, right?

I remind myself that whether extroverted or introverted, I need to be the best me I can be. God loves me!  He gave me the personality I have.  I don’t recall Him asking my opinion on the deal.

I cannot seclude myself.  I still want and need to reach out to others.  However, it is ok if I’m not the life of the party or attend parties at all.  I’m insightful, poetic, a writer, whether good or bad. Another way to touch others with my personality. I find peace and quiet, energizing and refreshing to my soul. I like to look inside myself to understand and reflect.  But I don’t ALWAYS want to be alone!

I need to be the best me I can be, recognizing at times the need to reach out beyond my comfort zone to see and touch directly, the lives of others. To focus on the talents and abilities given me because of my personality.  As with most of life principles, balance is key.  If God is ok with me, and He IS the one I need to please, then I will have been successful, regardless of the thoughts and opinions of others. After all God says I am…..

who-i-am_2[1]

…..and so are all of you!

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Comments on: "Is Who I Am, Good Enough?" (6)

  1. I am starting to think that we really do not understand the extravagant, pursuing love that God really has for us. We love conditionally and selfishly, and we keep God in that mold, too. Great job on breaking through the lies of the enemy about who you are.

    • There is this fear that being introverted is not a Godly personality. Balance is the issue here to be true to who I am, yet push myself at times out of my comfort zone. Always have been a very to myself type of person. When I see how outgoing others are, I wonder if there is something wrong with me. Everyone has their struggles. The extrovert needs to become comfortable with more alone time to be introspective when that is maybe not their nature. We are all in the process of growth and so dependant on our Heavenly Father to do what we cannot. Thanks for the comment!

  2. I love this reflective piece, hon. YES, you are definitely OK. I like you alot just the way you are!…and thank you for sharing your talents and time with me/us. We are grateful for what you do share, albeit limited in time and and touching. ( It is frustrating when we have friends we want to touch more and be touched by and whokeep us at arms length and it makes us weep with dismay. )

    God is happy with you and that you choose to keep connecting with us — with how you feel comfortable — is good enough. I think we all are guilty of playing negative tapes through our minds and provide unnecessary depression upon our selves. Well, there are the narcissitic personas who saturate themselves in positive strokes and who are obnoxious, arrogant, and self-serving to the point of hurting others. lol…but we shall forget about them for the present.

    Which of the above negative tapes do you ruminate about the most? I am open to talking more about it, if you wish…?

    lovely post! thank you!

  3. Whether extrovert or introvert, there are degrees of both. I am not a person who seeks NO interaction with others. I prefer small groups of people and enjoy them tremendously. I like close friends but find small talk with strangers very draining. If the topic is of interest, I have no trouble being involved and interested. Probably the message that plays most in my mind is the one of something being wrong with my personality. In my Christian walk I want to influence others for Christ, yet feel being introverted, the two don’t mix. I have to remind myself that in my Hospice nurse career, I was able to touch and influence the lives of many. My faith overcame any problems my introversion presented. It is so hard to say introversion outloud because I fear being misunderstood. I DON’T want to be alone all the time. I DO like interaction with others but at the same time, too much, is exhausting. I fear offending others and building a wall. But Thanks Be to God who expects me to grow in the personality he has given me without abandoning myself!

  4. I think you are finding great strength in your faith.

    I think of myself as an introvert also but have no problems accepting that of my nature. The extrovert prefers the company of people; the introvert prefers ideas…though we engage with people who offer us ideas, understanding that people are valuable in themselves.

    I live a reclusive life and dont feel guilty about isolating myself. I keep my interactions to a minimum because too much wears my patience. There are some people I can spend much time with but those are few…and these include my children and my mother mostly. Is there anyone you do enjoy spending many hours with or do you prefer to be alone most of the time?

    I had the six children (adults and a five year old) here for about 10 days and it was quite wonderful but by the time they left I was happy to get my quiet cave back to myself.

    …and agree with you that only topics of interest hold my attention. I struggle with boring social scenes…actually, i just want to scream and fly the heck out of there.

    Personally, I try not to reconcile religion or spirituality with these issues, and I would never impose religion on anyone, as that denies them freedom from religion.

    But, about your main concern…that of your personality…woah, why on earth, my dear, do you find fault with your personality? Do you think you are wrong to care more about ideas than people? I am sure you care deeply about those in your inner circle, dont you? Do you think you might be boring?…I dont doubt that you can find stimulating topics to engage others in conversation.

    Personally, I get tired of the social scene. The women in my group only talk about others. They are fascinated with gossip and what all is happening in the lives of others. I prefer to not probe and let others have their privacy. I bet you dont have a ton of silly ninny friends on your facebook site and that you dont post inane topics to blather on about nonsense.

    Just a while ago i made arrangements to host my dinner out group and i realized that i am not enjoying myself and will soon quit that crowd. Same goes for my photo group…adios! They are more in the way of my lens and way too curiuos about my private life. I know they will think i am a snob for quitting but do i really care about their opinion of me. Should i be kind and not confess to them that i find them boring?…and perhaps you wonder if i will always find everyone boring…not at all! I can spend countless hours in conversation with the right people…and there are some ppl, (e.g. my mom) that no matter how boring, I truly enjoy being in the comfort of their company.

    I hope i have eased your mind about your issues and that you feel comfortable discussing more on this issue if you wish to… 🙂

    Have a wonderful evening exploring what warms your heart or stimulates your mind. 🙂

  5. To be able to discuss introversion with someone who is as well is a big help. The idea that others think we might be snobbish or think we are better always eats at me. Again, I try to find my balance in my faith. And again, God is faithful. Thanks for caring and listening!

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