If I Knew

In light of the shootings in Aurora Colorado, we are reminded of the uncertainty and  fragility of life.  As I was going through some grief information, I came across a poem of whom the author is unknown.  It reinforces the need we each should have to remind those near and dear to us how much we love them.

If I knew it would be the last time

That I’d see you fall asleep

I would tuck you in more tightly

And pray the Lord your soul to keep

If I knew it would be the last time

That I would see you walk out the door

I would give you a hug and kiss

And call you back for more

If I knew it would be the last time

I would hear your voice lifted up in praise

I would video tape each action and word

God knows I would play them back day after day

If I knew it would be the last time

I could spare an extra minute

To say “I love you”

Instead of assuming you would know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time

I would be there to share your day

While I’m sure you’ll have so many more

So I can let just one slip away

For surely there’s always tomorrow

To make up for an oversight

And we always get a second chance

To make everything up just right

There will always be another day

To say, “I love you”

And certainly there’s another chance

To say “Anything I can do?”

But just in case I might be wrong

And today is all I get

I’d like to say how much I love you

And I hope we never forget

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone

Young or old alike

And today may be the last chance

I get to hold your love so tight

So if you’re waiting for tomorrow

Why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes

You’ll surely regret the day

That you didn’t take that extra time

For a smile, a hug or kiss

And you were too busy to grant someone

What turned out to be their one last wish

So hold your loved ones close today

And whisper in their ear

Tell them how much you love them

And that you’ll always hold them dear

Take time to say”I’m sorry”,

“Please forgive me”, “Thank You”, or “It’s Okay

And if tomorrow never comes

You’ll have no regrets about today.

Author unknown

 

 

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Letting Go

How life could exist, apart from him, was inconceivable!

Yet, he was fading away before her very eyes. 

If she could just get him to eat a bite or two,

Maybe a glimmer of the strong, vibrant man he once was, could be seen. 

Yet all her efforts produced only piles of favorites, untouched on the plate.

Eating was no longer a desire, but an event of exhaustion.

The disease was relentlessly luring him away from her.

She begged him not to go…. not to give up! 

Her tears, a river of grief, became a friend that would not leave.

“He’ll be better tomorrow, he just needs to rest,”

She would tell herself, to make the burden of today, bearable.

Yet cruelly, tomorrow’s hope was not dressed as she imagined.

She saw the distant look in his eyes, now begging to close,

The strength it took to summon one more breath to be labeled alive,

The cool, moist skin never to be warm and loving again.

And in that moment her love for him was stronger than 

Her desire for life’s aria to be sung as SHE had written.

He was struggling and leaving and sighing and slipping through her fingers.

She whispered words she felt would never be true, 

“It’s ok to go, sweetheart .  I’ll be just fine”

A sigh… a sob… then she spoke again,

“I love you too much to ask you to stay.”

…The spoken key, gently unlocked the door, swinging it wide open,

And he drifted peacefully to another world where pain and suffering are not known.

Goodbye… my… love…

……..Ahh!.. the courage, the love, to be found in letting go!

Having provided Hospice care for 12 years of my nursing career, I write this in honor of women and men everywhere who must find the courage to say goodbye to their dying loved ones.

Lynn Radke May 23, 2012